My inner Hulk scares me half to death!

[raincitygirl]

My sister took my nieces to the dentist on Thursday, and they got to wear masks in the waiting room. They were EXCITED about it! Niece #2 especially. She's only 3 and apparently she said in a self-important tone, "I is a very big girl now." Well, I guess little kids see grownups wearing masks, don't realize WHY they're doing it, and want to imitate them.

I turned into a 10 foot tall green rage monster for several days last week right before my period started. And it was med-related. I’ve been on an antidepressant called Respiridone for about 6 weeks. I assumed it probably wasn’t why I was PMSing up a storm, because I’d already had a perfectly normal period shortly after I started taking the new stuff. But Dr Wonderful said I probably hadn’t been on it long enough at that time for the full effects to show up.

Respiridone can cause fairly dramatic hormonal shifts, especially in women. Which would explain why I was not only a ball of anger for several days before it started, but also why I had such a bizarrely light and painless period on a physical level. But honestly, I’d rather have the usual cramps and rivers of blood than spend 3 days a month flying off the handle at the slightest provocation.

However, Respiridone’s hormonal effects do sometimes level out as your body gets accustomed to it, so I’m not going off it YET. If I have another period in early July with PMS as bad as this month, we will have to taper me off it. Which is a shame, because until I hulked out for 72 agonizing hours, the Respiridone was really working well for me.

But I simply can’t go around wanting to scream at people for 3 days a month. Being constantly angry is emotionally EXHAUSTING! I thought being constantly anxious was tiring, but that’s a doddle compared to the debilitating effects of rage. On the bright side, I'm 43, will be 44 in October. I'm much closer to the end of the menstruating portion of my life than to the beginning. How many more sleeps until menopause?

Comments

[shadowkat]

It may not be the drug but peri-menopause? Because what you describe, I'd been having between the age of 38 to 50. It began to level off as the periods started leveling off.
But I'd rage at everything within a centimeter of me for about two weeks each month.
I thought I was going crazy, until I read that a lot of other women were exhibiting the same symptoms. Along with hot flashes, night sweats, vertigo headaches, crying jags, and huge mood swings. It's actually getting better now as I'm beginning to head into menopause, which is interesting.

[raincitygirl]

Ugh, that sounds HORRIBLE! Now I am devoutly hoping it’s the new anti-depressant and not peri-menopause at work. If it’s the drug, it’s easily solved by no longer taking the drug. If it’s peri-menopause, there’s no stopping it.

[shadowkat]

Meditation helps, most of the time. Yesterday - I got triggered by a comment to a post I wrote and I wanted to strangle the person for most of the day. But I also didn't meditate yesterday.

[ancarett]

Menopause is awesome. I officially reached that milestone six months ago. Happy dances!

For me, the last few years were fraught with OTT bleeding. I had more transvaginal ultrasounds than fingers on a hand, a really painful uterine biopsy, and eventually some relief with a medication that slowed down excessive menstrual bleeding: tranexamic acid. A++ stuff.

ALso, almost no migraines anymore after nearly monthly visitations.

But for me, perimenopausal didn't really start until I was 50, so definitely keep pursuing all options to keep you feeling less Hulk-ish and more human overall. It is important even as it gets pushed back in our own warped priority list.

[raincitygirl]

You’re done, you’re all done! Would it be inappropriate for me to cue up the Hallelujah Chorus on Apple Music while I write this comment. I find Handel excellent for celebrations.

I remember when you were in Vancouver a year or so back and we had dinner, you were still having the totally OTT periods and having horrendous trouble with them. But all that is in your rear view mirror now! Yahoooooooo!!!!

I just realized that I was 13.5 when I got my first period, and I’m a little more than 43.5 now. And I never had children. Which means I have been menatruating for 3 DECADES now! What a dreadful thought.

I am making a note of the meds you mentioned for OTT bleeding. I have to see my GP at the end of July, and might bring that up with her. I’m not in nearly as much distress as you were, but the past few years my periods have narrowed from a pretty regular 28 day cycle to a 25 day cycle. And in the past few years, they keep getting heavier too.

[raincitygirl]

You’re done, you’re all done! Would it be inappropriate for me to cue up the Hallelujah Chorus on Apple Music while I write this comment. I find Handel excellent for celebrations.

I remember when you were in Vancouver a year or so back and we had dinner, you were still having the totally OTT periods and having horrendous trouble with them. But all that is in your rear view mirror now! Yahoooooooo!!!!

I just realized that I was 13.5 when I got my first period, and I’m a little more than 43.5 now. And I never had children. Which means I have been menatruating for 3 DECADES now! What a dreadful thought.

I am making a note of the meds you mentioned for OTT bleeding. I have to see my GP at the end of July, and might bring that up with her. I’m not in nearly as much distress as you were, but the past few years my periods have narrowed from a pretty regular 28 day cycle to a 25 day cycle. And in the past few years, they keep getting heavier too.

[signedwapo]

De-lurking to chime in about perimenopausal bleeding.
My periods started getting really excessive when I was around 41-42, with increasing episodes of randomized breakthrough spotting during the rest of the month. Got to the point of being anemic and falling asleep mid-conversation all the time, until other folks connected the dots for me.
Have been taking an iron pill every day since then, and that, surprisingly, seems to have normalized my cycles more than I would have thought possible, given how off-kilter they had gotten. I don't quite get how it all works, but boy am I glad it does! And just to keep me on my toes, if I forget a pill one day, or even take one several hours later than usual, it brings on the red tide within a day or so.
Bodies! So weird!

[raincitygirl]

Hi lurker! Peri-menopause sounds ever more delightful with every new comment I read. Sarcasm alert. But thanks for the useful tip about iron pills.

[astrothsknot]

perimenopause sucks. i reckon it was the reason my fairly normal, no issue periods resulted in a cycle that was 18 days with a 10 day bleed, rages that had me tear apart a kitchen table with my bare hands and strangle Son when he was about 7. i was either sleeping or screaming. I was about 26 and after going on the pill for a few years was a hell of a lot better. I hit the menopause at 33/34 and it was a huge relief.

maybe you could take the three days off each month as a holiday?